birth fugue
a poetry cycle,
as influenced by the Tibetan Book of the Dead
The Tibetan Book of the Dead is an ‘oral performative’ funerary rite, chanted by lamas to an individual who is dying or who has just deceased. The intended audience of the text is ‘the corpse’ (known as the ‘bardo being’). The intent of the funerary rite is to provide a guide for the bardo being’s movement through the intermediate state between death and the next bardo: ultimately enlightenment or rebirth. The word ‘bardo’ derives from two words: bar which means ‘movement’ and do, which means ‘island’. The lama’s presence and prayers warns the bardo being of distraction by peaceful and wrathful deities, as the bardo being must move beyond these beings to be liberated from samsāra (the cycle of death and rebirth) and achieve enlightenment. If the bardo being becomes fearful of the deities and of this journey and thus become unable to reach enlightenment, the last bardo, the bardo of rebirth, presents the bardo being’s mind with womb entrances. The bardo being’s mind will become attracted to one of these wombs, and samsāra, the cycle of death and rebirth, will continue.
I explore these themes in poems reflecting the violent transition, death to rebirth. A voice fell out of me when I tried to put it together.
For a deeper understanding of this concept, the reader is referred to a YouTube video, ‘religion for breakfast’ from wondrium.com. The video What is the Tibetan Book of the Dead? offers an explanation of three of the six bardos that await a bardo being in their minds’ transition from death to either enlightenment or rebirth.
birth fugue
life
the mirror
is over ever deep
enter
it reflects you
you fall in
shatter against
little else
deepens
not where
but forever
Darkness within darkness The gate of all mystery.
– the Tao
Birth I am coming
the deep ice heart beats
I go down below all reason
the fish fishing between stones
one star and the black dog egg articulate
at dawn there is only water
only ripples of faint light
there is no depth in either direction
away from one’s own heart beat
and only the feel of a spaceless
swelling tide who will later be called mother
that this will be
mother
who sits me on her lap
her fingers luting on my penis
before the punishment
the dawn cracks red
Birth
I cry within your sea
the deeper black of blood
my bitterness
has entered your dark horseman’s mouth
Birth night rages faces
my bedroom spins
how old am I
staccato
blue
white
moon lit snakes
eyes laterally across the wall
split earth opens
mother from her bowels
and rank sulphur
in dendritic braids
down her legs
the wailing red flung out son
from the shaved
pubic orifice
of dead dreams
breached lava
the dawn cracks red
night swallows me backwards
how old am I
mother mother don’t leave me
mouths spit from walls
O God God close my eyes
I am chase in the dark spin
hold me hold me
please
voices
curl dream
the orange fire
the eyes scream
unwatched
the moon passes conjunction
Saturn Jupiter claim the sky
song
white boughs
the pears ripen
although it is winter
and night
rage
seeded in the child
natured hurt that flew the bedroom
about him in sleep
that he crawled later into garments
of the priest
black robed love in his open palm
from pain
that would not weep
I cry.
I am Lilly in the broken house
the rabbit dies
It is time for dinner
I am coming mother.
I. between dreams
between dreams
instant away the red flash
between dreams
between dreams
I break away
I break away
between dreams I break away
the red flash
where I was born
where I was born
I reach again
where there is black
the bones lie
they are asleep
the bones lie soft in bed
come
come
touch me again
Three days I lie next to you in the grave
blue and hard huddled against the corner
death my embrace
to bring your face out from shadows
before love turns potash
or is borne into emptiness
mother touch me
mother hear me
under the brown clay coins
which weight the lids
reconcile to the shroud
now what will I make
put brown clay
over the black form
see how the black sucks in the brown
how can I cover death
that is wounded open
like a black vowel moaning
others cover their dead with spaces
still graves do not suck earth
into them like this
mute into the night
seek into the void eyes
lowered into the cleft
I seek you before me
come
come
touch me again
look your grave
split black
void becomes
white rooms
your chambers mother
your image
white
if you could dream of loveliness
as you would have the open air
pure
but enclosed
chambered
white
glass
there are thin clear doors
they lead to your perfection
why are they sealed why do you lock them?
will whiteness diminish
mother
I am among your doors
you know I am here
I see your hands
white
they are glass
they pass me milk
the milk is brittle
I am so cold
you have no tears
I have no tears
the bones lie
they are asleep
the bones lie soft in bed
II. under the drag rain ladder sleeping womb
cloud baja sky
yellow arroyo
yellow earth
I break away
I am of age
I break away
beyond dreams
I come of age
I am of age
yellow adobe maiden
gentle Serena
I am of age
I am the ancient bearded man
I am the lizard crawled on your hand
you place me as a child to your nipples
Serena
gentle
you are dark and full milk offered my lips
you are brown and sweet earth cradles me
you are song singing ‘need me
you are song singing ‘suckle me’
you are clay moist and sliding my swollen eyes
my leaden eyes
break weeping
III. in the dark horseman’s mouth
the queen bee broods
over the cock stain of her son
“No”, she whitens,
explains, “you are wrong.
The white rocks brought out flesh
just beyond my grotto,
the air sweet and drunk.
What could I do?”
I will reach down
mother
between your red trees of dawn
the dark horseman’s mouth turns
eye stain on its stalk
speaks
“You will look birth into me”
blackness rooted into void
I reach down
mother
between your red trees of dawn
there are jewels
in the horseman’s mouth
the jewel is the seed
it is the seed in my hand
IV. we are grocery shopping.
Dreams hardly matter,
only the price of oranges,
or what mother will say
if I want lollipops.
When I am older
I will live in England,
and be a whaler,
and won’t let her visit.